i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
