you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
