I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
Randomize
