This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
I supernannyed him into submission
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
