He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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