my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
should my penis look like a turkey
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
