well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
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