i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
