i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
Randomize
