the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Randomize
