it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
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