ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
