anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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