it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
