UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
