Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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