He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
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