can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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