Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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