she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
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