My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
