the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
