U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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