True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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