i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
