how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
