I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
She was totally amazed that i had the pizza delivery timed to coincide with our nooner and that the delivery boy knew where the broom closet on the 3rd floor was.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
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