i just shoved 27 marshmallows in my mouth
well thats a nice change of pace from what you normally put in your mouth
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
