I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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