k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
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