you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
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