He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Randomize
