Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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