real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
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