She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
