okay pat passed out under dana's car
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
