physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
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