New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize
