I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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