I can text with my tongue
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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