He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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