It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
Randomize
