SEEEEXXX PLEASE
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
