My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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