Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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