Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize