I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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