did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
