His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
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