me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
He's trying to marry me, when is the appropriate time to tell him my real name and that Dallas is a completely fictitious slutty alter ego? I need the advice of someone with morals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Randomize