If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Randomize
