I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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