Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
No more cocaine. I spent two hours in my bathroom convincing myself I was ugly. Is this what a period feels like?
You're the worst gay friend ever.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Randomize
