I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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