Please, let me fuck your mom
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Randomize
