he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
He would stand there for a few seconds with a blank look on his face then randomly start running full sprint towards macdonalds. We'd catch him and he'd promise to stop so we'd let him go and he'd do it again.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
